Salam
Ok I admit it! I'm officially bored at home doing nothing except facebooking, watching TV, doing some house chores, sleeping and eating. Plus I cant go out with friends because I got this diarrhea from my previous trip -Bandung. It has been almost a month already since I last studied for something.. or anything! So I kinda feel stupid now coz my brain has not been fully utilized. I do read some clinical cases sometimes or flip my mother's medical notes but it doesn't even last for some good hours! I got bored after some minutes or dozed off sleeping not knowing what was my last page I was at. At times like this, I really miss my med school days.. like staying up late at night doing home tasks or reading for next class’s topic or cramming my head with some last minute studies for tomorrow’s subject.
I don't really have anything else to look forward to except waiting for my next practical patiently.. which I have no idea what am I gonna do there! The waiting part is quite stressful yet boring at the same time. I cant wait to start doing it already and experience the working life all by myself (hope I dont regret saying this in the future!) instead of reading other people’s updates on FB, Twitter or blogs on how boring and adventurous their practical experiences are. As much as I'm scared and stressed up after reading all that, I also wanna experience and feel it for myself. Like is practical really THAT scary and stressful?? For all I know those people might be exaggerating much or something to scare us off! Huhu.Choosing medical specialty to study after high school wasn't easy for some of us. But some were forced to take medicine by their parents and some were trapped in the middle of engineering or medicine and ended up choosing the latter after flipping the coin (and regretting it later). As for me, I do had problems before when it comes to choosing medicine. I really want to be a doctor since I was young (no ideas why?). Maybe I’ve always been good in science subjects *ehem* when I was in high school (except for physics which I cukup2 makan je!) so I cant really see myself being a successful engineer or accountant or some other thing. I wasn't really that excited and passionate yet back then when it comes to saving lives, helping people, curing cancer or AIDS or some other cheesy reasons that you get when you ask people why they wanna be a doctor but I was mostly interested in medicine back then thanx to the hit medical series - Grey's Anatomy and Scrubs! Some people would say that I got into medicine for all the wrong reasons and the passion will not last long (coz REAL life is not as easy and sugar-coated as what is shown on TV……. duh! I know that!) but after 3 years of med school, (but still I got another 3 years) I fall in love with medicine for real and we got into a very serious relationship together! and like every other couples who are madly and deeply in love, we also had our rough times together. There were times when I regretted choosing medicine or God-forsaken Russia to further my study (which I thought at that time would be a cool and adventurous country~). Hurm..
So yeah, now I'm so full of passion and love for medicine *cough* but it worries me sometimes if this love gonna fade (instead of getting bigger and stronger) when I start working later. The work stress has taking its toll on some of my seniors who have started their houseman-ship and they said it themselves how much they regretted choosing medicine and being a doctor and cant wait to finish their housemanship and quit their job or something. So I really hope that I will not say things like this when I start working later and the work stress wont affect me so badly (physically and psychologically) but instead pushes me into becoming a better doctor. InsyaAllah.
